Thursday, February 20, 2014

No Pain No Gain / Part 1

photo credit huffingtonpost.com
For those of you, who workout. You know how you have been doing a workout regiment for a while, to the point you don’t feel challenged anymore. Your body fat is where it's suppose to be, it has become an effortless routine, that is maintaining and not evaluatingNow, you find yourself, coming up with a new regiment, where you are increasing your cardio time, lifting heavier weights, eating more protein etc... Now this new regiment has your legs sore the next day, every time you laugh, your abs are on fire . You are like, I entrust and know what the end results will be, but I am in so much pain. 

That's how, I feel right now, with my spiritual life. Last year, I was on spiritual baby food, this year Mr. Jesus Christ has me on that solid food, that smells bad, looks horrible, but nutritious for the body I am so spiritually sore. I MEAN EVERYTHING HURTS. I tell God, I want to be even tempered, he puts me in situations, to be as such. I pray for God to kill my flesh, he takes the very thing that was inflaming my flesh, in a humiliating fashion. I say to God, if I can just have this particular situation to be just like this, he grants my wish. Then I realized, the wish that has been granted brought me further away from God. I tell God, I really want to be in your will and live in my purpose. And he says, in order for that to happen, you have to share all your dirty little secrets. Tell people who you are now, but, I want you to tell them who you were first. I was maintaining last year, this year is evaluation time. With evaluation comes soreness and unfamiliar places, that exposes every flaw. I trust the Lord, I know the end results will be fulfilling, but man, I am spiritual sore.  

Living in your purpose comes with a cost

With evaluation comes a cost 

If you, find yourself in an spiritual place, where there is no life lessons and no pain. That means you are maintaining and not evaluating. 
"NO PAIN NO GAIN" 

Imperfect Christians Rock, 
Chantale Chan


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Introducing Me!

photo credit @chantalechan
Adulterer, liar, selfish, temperamental, and cheater are the words that described that poor lost little girl, I was. Now, I strive to be a woman of God and most importantly a Proverbs 31 Woman. A lot of people in my past, cannot stomach the idea of using my name and woman of God in the same sentence. I mean, can you blame them! We are talking about a woman, who broke the covenant of her marriage, in pursuit of temporary fillers from a man. A woman, who disregarded how this would affect her husband and kid. A woman who told her husband "to get over it", as if finding out your spouse is cheating on you , is like forgetting to pick up milk at the grocery store.To justify my sins, I said to my myself, it is ok to seek another mans attention because I was being neglected by my husband and being physically abused. But failedto tell people that I also had a temper problem since the age of 10 years old and I also failed to tell people ,that I played a factor as well, as to why my marriage failed. I failed to tell people, how I had a selfish nature and how I justified me being right to disrespect my in laws. Human nature have a tendency of telling one side of the story, because deep down inside we want people to sympathize with us. Deep down in inside, we want them to take our side, because honestly ,nobody wants to be known as a selfish, insensitive adulterer. 

Writing this, is very hard for me, because I feel naked. But, it makes no sense to start a journey like this and not be transparent and authentic. My hope is , the Lord uses me to bring encouragement to someone that feels, they have done too much wrong for the Lord to love them or forgive them. Or hopefully, my experience can stop a man/woman from making the same mistakes I made. If God can give an adulterer a second chance. If God can forgive me of my sins, he can do the same for you. 

Even though I was raised in the church, I did not become a real Christian until recently. I was a practice sinner , who has now become a repentance sinner. Sometimes, I think of things I have done in the past, the people I have hurt along the way and I am disgusted with myself. What brings me hope and encouragement is my Lord Jesus Christ. I know , he has forgiven me, so I have forgiven myself. 

I have also come to the conclusion that the fleshly nature, will never make sense out of God using someone like me, because logically, it makes no sense. I have realized when God does not share his plan for you with people, it is not my responsibility to spend the rest of my life, defending or proving my restoration. I understand how the flesh operates, I know it is hard to accept how God can use a mess like me, but at the same time, I have to let my actions and my journey speak for it self. 

I cannot promise perfection, but I can promise that I will be authentic and transparent. I am a imperfect Christian who rocks, because she knows she's imperfect and does not pretend otherwise. The imperfection, does not make me rock, the honesty does. 

Imperfect Christians Rock
Chantale Chan

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